Old Geezer

Every year my family heads out east to visit my grandparents.  When you look at my grandfather sitting in his arm chair watching the Red Sox, he looks like a grumpy old man.  He is a retired Massachusetts cop that very much resembles the comic strip character Crankshaft.  He always greets us with a smile and a hug, which can be difficult with his enlarged mid-section.  He smells like aftershave, and my mom always gets him razor blades for Christmas to which he exclaims "I needed these."  He is balding on the top of his head and has a comb-over with the little hair that he has.

We enjoy talking baseball together and I am quick to rub in the fact that the Twins recently beat the Sox in a four game series.  Every night he can be found watching the game every night on NESN and grumbles when he sees the Sox gave up a home run, and is followed shortly by snide remark about how the the manager left the pitcher in too long, or about how a player "gets paid millions of dollars, and he stinks!"  He was fine with the late manager Bobby Valentine, but always had plenty to say about Terry Francona, and was happy to see him go.  When the game gets really out of hand he switches the channel to Fox News.  It is unbelievable how well he fits the conservative old man stereotype.  He is very cheap and we often accuse him of cheating at cards.

At our cabin out there he tries to do too much work, and my mom scolds him for it and usually tells me to do it instead.  Whenever he walks he hums a little tune.  I can't tell if it is actually humming or if its more wheezing because he is out of shape.  Either way its always the same and I can't remember him not doing it.  The only exercise I have every seen him do are short swims on nice days at the lake, and taking their golden retriever on walks.  He spoils the dog and my uncle calls the only 3-year-old dog a golden receiver that acts like an old lady.  The dog is needs to be dragged if she doesn't get treats while on her walk.  My grandmother always gets mad when my grandfather leave little dog treats in his pockets, and they go through the wash, coming out as little mush-balls.

My family always gives him a hard time, but we love him the same.